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GoddessTMarie's avatar

This read like a spoken word piece. I’ve had those tears well up from seemingly nowhere. 🥹And I hate when those cries get interrupted! I tell my children to let me cry in peace I’m ok. 😌

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The Rested Black Woman's avatar

I know; I don't know how to write any other way. I try, and it always comes out kinda like a poem, short essay—I don't know 🤎. I'm happy it's resonating with others. Thank you for your kind words. I'm curious: do you know where the tears are coming from or what's causing them? Sometimes life overwhelms us, and we just need to slip away and let those hot tears flow. I have experienced tears that just come from no conscious thought or trigger. I believe it's the grief of living in bodies that are both Black and Brown and female. We hide our pain and grief so eloquently, but it's killing us. Thank you again; I appreciate you.

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GoddessTMarie's avatar

I’m glad you appreciate me because I like it here!! lol my tears come from grieving the life I used to want and the circumstances that are not ideal-like me living apart from one of my most precious daughters because her dad and I separated and share custody. I don’t cry very often, but when I do l like to enjoy it but squeezing it all out . It’s hard to do because I’m so often around my children and they watch even though they selectively hear instructions. Good question! And you’re welcome Dear😊

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The Rested Black Woman's avatar

Thank you for sharing. Now I'm curious what it would be like to allow them to see you cry. Maybe they will learn that grief and sadness should be witnessed, and maybe we begin to learn not to hide our tears. Maybe they also learn about compassion, and that you are a mom, and a real human with real emotions too, not just mom. Maybe???

I love this conversation becasue its real, and giving me inspiration to write more about grief.

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GoddessTMarie's avatar

Ok I hear all of that and understand that their witnessing it could be a very teachable moment. My thing is that by the time I’ve reached the point of tears it’s because they have been building up and finally the dam breaks and I cry. At that moment it’s not about them seeing me cry it’s about me not want to be interrupted from my cry by their questions. Mommy what’s wrong? Why are you crying… it just takes me out of the moment and I want to get those tears out. Have you ever been there where you are actually enjoying the cry? 😆🤷🏽‍♀️

It’s not in every case that the tears are from build up. For instance when we were in the car I dedicated a song to my daughter and as I sang the tears came out of no where! She asked me what was wrong and that was fine. I told her and also I told her I wasn’t expecting that.

I agree that they could benefit from not only seeing the full range of our emotions but getting and understanding as well. Good conversation 🙂

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The Rested Black Woman's avatar

Whew... yes, understood—uninterrupted by their love and concern for you in those moments. You just need the full release! Thank you for helping me to understand more deeply. Also, communion in the comment thread is difficult sometimes; thank you for taking a few extra minutes to share. Black women need spaces just to talk and witness one another. 🤔🤔🤔

Hope you have a beautiful evening.

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GoddessTMarie's avatar

Working on it right now! It’s well into second shift here at home. :-) enjoy your evening as well Sister.

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GoddessTMarie's avatar

🫰🏽🫰🏽🫰🏽

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Sybil Elie's avatar

I know chronic Black woman fatigue is real. I'm so glad we speak on it.

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The Rested Black Woman's avatar

Man- chronic Black women fatigue. Thank you reading and leaving feedback!

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Written Therapy's avatar

Wow! This piece put words to a lot of feelings I’ve been experiencing but couldn’t describe, thank you for this!❤️

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The Rested Black Woman's avatar

This grief work, Im doing with and for Black women is opening up in a way I hadn't expected. Thank you for your support and words.

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Olaiya's avatar

This spoke to my experience! Thank you for writing this!

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The Rested Black Woman's avatar

Thank you so much for supporting my work. I'm happy it spoke to you and witnessed you as well.

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Josea Tamira Crossley's avatar

This is beautiful and so well written. What a wonderful & potent offering. ✨🖤

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