My Mom raised us by herself after my Dad died and I watched her be everything. People who uphold social constructs love to tell single moms how they aren't doing enough because their family doesn't look like others, but the truth is fathers are optional. The many men who create children and walk away out of their own volition prove that. The old saying is that it tales a VILLAGE to raise children. It never specifies that a father is required because matriarchal societies rarely had fathers raise children. Women did it in community. I still believe in that. Children grow up beautifully with the right support systems and safe people. We did, and now that my Mom is remarried we have a wonderful man in our lives who loves and respects us. But we were happy and healthy before him, too. Also, the image is Maury, not Jerry Springer. Different talk show white man. 😁 I'd like to respectfully add my own blessing: May every single mother find peace and wholeness within herself before seeking validation elsewhere. I'm including the married, single mothers, as well.
Yes, beautiful. Thank you for your wisdom. When my children were young, I made a book. We called it the dream book. I put all my hopes, prayers, and expectations for my children in it. It looked like a vision board, but it was a book. I kept it under my bed. I would pull it out and pray over it when things got scary or seemed impossible. Almost everything in the book has come to pass. I still have it.
Right! As an educator, I find it to be the truest wisdom. Although I wish parents embraced it more because it's something that happens regardless of whether parents embrace it. The key is making sure that village is healthy, worthy, and safe for children. My Mom used to run background checks. That does have limitations, but it's a good start.😁
That's instruction worth repeating to parents, and helping them know how to build a thriving village. A single-father and widower friend of mine went nearly 20 years, raising his son without support from others. It increased the risk of burnout to himself and thwarted social skills building for his son.
This is such a powerful reminder of the familiar proverb: It takes a village to raise a child. This is especially true for single parents. Your words encourage us all to constantly cultivate the villages we can rely on to help us choose self first as we step up to be there for others.
This is so beautiful and powerful and important. I was both raised by a solo mom and was a solo parent for 12 years. (I like to differentiate between single Mom and Solo Mom because it was actually really different when you’re single, but still have a coparent versus being the only parent supporting your kid) … I was really blessed to have an amazing best friend whose son is the same age and she helped me out a lot. She was also a single mom but had a lot more resources than I did. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her… and yes… I agree. Our children are blessed. The society definitely makes it nearly impossible for parents, especially solo parents. My son graduated from high school a few weeks ago. What a wild journey. 💜 thank you so much for your words… I feel my body being given permission to soften even more.
Thank you for sharing a part of your story. I was single, but as my children grew older, even though we lived in a town where I had no relatives, we grew a beautiful village. They still support my kids today.
"Armor is heavy and after a while we forget we're wearing it." That line stopped me. The body doesn't just respond to what's happening, it responds to the story you keep telling it about what's happening. "I am both" tells the nervous system the threat is still here. Even when it isn't. The survival vs healing strategies piece is the cleanest version of that I've read. Saving this one.
My Mom raised us by herself after my Dad died and I watched her be everything. People who uphold social constructs love to tell single moms how they aren't doing enough because their family doesn't look like others, but the truth is fathers are optional. The many men who create children and walk away out of their own volition prove that. The old saying is that it tales a VILLAGE to raise children. It never specifies that a father is required because matriarchal societies rarely had fathers raise children. Women did it in community. I still believe in that. Children grow up beautifully with the right support systems and safe people. We did, and now that my Mom is remarried we have a wonderful man in our lives who loves and respects us. But we were happy and healthy before him, too. Also, the image is Maury, not Jerry Springer. Different talk show white man. 😁 I'd like to respectfully add my own blessing: May every single mother find peace and wholeness within herself before seeking validation elsewhere. I'm including the married, single mothers, as well.
Yes, beautiful. Thank you for your wisdom. When my children were young, I made a book. We called it the dream book. I put all my hopes, prayers, and expectations for my children in it. It looked like a vision board, but it was a book. I kept it under my bed. I would pull it out and pray over it when things got scary or seemed impossible. Almost everything in the book has come to pass. I still have it.
That warmed my heart! I love it. Seeing Mom dream is the greatest gift. My greatest love from life was seeing my Mom as a human woman. ❤️❤️❤️
Great minds, RJ. The village proverb also came to mind for me too.
Right! As an educator, I find it to be the truest wisdom. Although I wish parents embraced it more because it's something that happens regardless of whether parents embrace it. The key is making sure that village is healthy, worthy, and safe for children. My Mom used to run background checks. That does have limitations, but it's a good start.😁
That's instruction worth repeating to parents, and helping them know how to build a thriving village. A single-father and widower friend of mine went nearly 20 years, raising his son without support from others. It increased the risk of burnout to himself and thwarted social skills building for his son.
This is such a powerful reminder of the familiar proverb: It takes a village to raise a child. This is especially true for single parents. Your words encourage us all to constantly cultivate the villages we can rely on to help us choose self first as we step up to be there for others.
Yes, I'm now a village keeper, member, and momma for others. Thank you, sister. Thank you for being here.
This is so beautiful and powerful and important. I was both raised by a solo mom and was a solo parent for 12 years. (I like to differentiate between single Mom and Solo Mom because it was actually really different when you’re single, but still have a coparent versus being the only parent supporting your kid) … I was really blessed to have an amazing best friend whose son is the same age and she helped me out a lot. She was also a single mom but had a lot more resources than I did. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her… and yes… I agree. Our children are blessed. The society definitely makes it nearly impossible for parents, especially solo parents. My son graduated from high school a few weeks ago. What a wild journey. 💜 thank you so much for your words… I feel my body being given permission to soften even more.
Thank you for sharing a part of your story. I was single, but as my children grew older, even though we lived in a town where I had no relatives, we grew a beautiful village. They still support my kids today.
This is Maury. Not Jerry Springer.
You're right. I think I will just change the caption. The picture doesn't take away from the story. Thank you for noticing.
"Armor is heavy and after a while we forget we're wearing it." That line stopped me. The body doesn't just respond to what's happening, it responds to the story you keep telling it about what's happening. "I am both" tells the nervous system the threat is still here. Even when it isn't. The survival vs healing strategies piece is the cleanest version of that I've read. Saving this one.
Thank you for this beautiful truth!🥰🙏🏾